Baby Mum Mum Choking

By admin 　

Baby stillbirth baby stillborn neonatal baby death My family and friends ignored me

A couple of days ago I published a blog on how mums wanted to be treated after the loss of their baby by either stillbirth, miscarriage,neonatal baby death or fetal demise or even SIDS(sudden infant death syndrome) It had so much of an inpact I felt we needed to elabourate further to give every one a much bigger picture of how its has an effect on the closest people around them. Its not in a good way either and these mums comments below say it all.Do not Ignore me. here are ways in which family members and friends reacted and how much hurt it caused the families even more.

  • My neighbour didn’t speak to me from the day we lost William in labour at 41 weeks on 24 Jan 2010 until the day we brought his baby brother home this April. We talk about William all the time. And Henry will always know thta he isn’t our first. This needs to be spoken about xxx

  • had a similar experience. 2 miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy. Some good supporters but many who let me down. It seemed they were so uncomfortable with it, but I NEED to talk about it! It was a big loss!!! Many were insensitive with their baby joys in the midst of my sorrow.. Very hard!!

  • my friend lost her lil girl in december she was 2 hours old and i make suer im always there for her to talk about her daughter and we do every day we viste her every weekend so she nos we all think of her and its sad to think that people say away when they are needed the most you mothers are so brave but you still need suport and no that there really are people out there that do care and want to keep there memories alivexxxxx

  • My family supported my loss of twins with a baby shower invite for a cousin I hate!! My mom got calls and cards in sympathy… But no one said anything  to me

  • I had twins a boy & girl, 3 mths early. We lost our litle girl at 2 mths, I remember people telling me ” well at least you have your little boy ” I wanted to choke those people so bad.

  •  I had 2 babies and I wanted my 2 babies to come and be happy and healthy and have wonderful live’s. Most people just fell off the face of the earth after our baby girl passed on, and it was never to be talked about.

  •  I had to write in a journal my thoughts, my anger, my sadness, my yelling, my screaming everything I felt because people just didnt know what to say or do or they just chose to leave my life. I ended up finding a giref recovery group through a local funeral home, where I could express all those feelings and share them with people that where also suffering the same loss and or a loss of a loved one. It was one place where I did not feel ALL ALONE in this great big world.

  • a lot of people ignored me after we lost our daughter – I suppose because they didn’t know what to say, but it still hurt xMy neighbour didn’t speak to me from the day we lost William in labour at 41 weeks on 24 Jan 2010 until the day we brought his baby brother home this April. We talk about William all the time. And Henry will always know that he isn’t our first. This needs to be spoken about xxx

     Here is how can you help a family thats lost their baby, instead of shunning them because it makes you uncomfortable being around them?

  • Send them an appropriate baby bereavement card theres plenty in the tiny baby bereavement section of cheekychumsonline.

  • Write a poem laminate it and send it in the post if seeing them too soon after the funeral is too distressing.

  • Send it with flowers tell them you love them and are thinking of them.

  • Send a huggable teddy with “for the two of you” specially written on a little jumper many websites provide personalized teddy bears.Mum and dad can cuddle it up close when feeling tearful.

  • Dad has feelings too even if they show it diffently than mum, give them a hug.

  • Invite them out for an evening meal of coffeee shop break

  • Ask do they need help looking after the other kids whilst they take time out to them selves.

About the Author

Qualified Baby +Early Years specialist.T.D.L.B D32+D33 Assessor.Proprietor of Cheeky Chums the Premature Baby Clothes SuperStore.  http://cheekychumsonline.co.uk, blogs http://cheekychums.wordpress.com , http://prematurebaby.info

This entry was written by admin, posted on June 25, 2010 at 5:26 am, filed under Baby and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.